Archive - August 13, 2013

If they only knew

If they only knew

As I took my children to school this morning I couldn’t help but enter that crazy zone that only moms know. And when you have several small people to think about the crazy zone gets even crazier. Add one level of crazy and worry for each child. So that puts me at crazy zone level 4.

Fortunately, this morning, the crazy zone visit led to my love for my children. And my love for my children led me specifically to my love for Lola and Liam. Adoption is a difficult journey that leads to healing. I couldn’t help but wonder what would change if they really knew how deeply we love them.

What would happen if they knew…

When they cry our hearts pound into overdrive, and our legs can’t move fast enough.

When old trauma is triggered and they spiral away from us, hiding every emotion, digging into the deepest pit… we get a shovel and go after them.

When they push away just to test the boundaries of our love… there won’t be any boundaries in sight.

When they worry we won’t come back… we will. Every time.

When they reject our love, when they don’t understand our love, when they hate our love. Our love. Our never-ending, far-reaching, crazy zone, momma love WILL persevere.

Adoptive moms are like the chewed gum on a hot street in July. We are tired and worn, but we stick and don’t let go.

And we love our kids with a fierceness that won’t be matched. We have crazy eyes and bad hair. (At least I do.) And we, in all our talk of big, never ending love are not the heroes of the story.

Our children, who may never fully understand the depths of our love, are the bright shining stars of this story. They have endured and will endure. They wake up each day, overcoming the one before. And their triumphs fuel ours.

We work and chase and love each day because they are so worth it. Above all, if my kids, all my kids… knew one thing, it would be YOU are worth it.

All Content © Erica Ho, Goodbye Normal