I am an adoptive mom. I don’t use the term unless I’m trying to explain why things, especially parenting, are a little different for me. The normal parenting books and tips don’t typically work for me. Two of my kids function a little differently and try as I might I can’t change their past. I also don’t have to accept that their past defines what they will become. Each day is moving forward and stepping back at the same time, yet I believe the days ahead have much more hope than darkness.
I’ve spent the last week living a little bit of that darkness. You see, when a child suffers trauma at a young age you can’t be certain when and where that trauma will manifest or erupt. You might be at Target, you might be at church and you might even be in the middle of the most fun activity of the entire summer. But it will erupt. I’ve learned not to take it personally in the years that we’ve parented and I’ve begun to anticipate it as well. But man, does it hurt the heart at times.
I was feeling very low and very discouraged at work today. But thankfully God was faithful to put something in front of me that spoke to my depths and gave me the reminder that I needed. I was chosen, selected and called to walk a very specific path with my children. There is no one better or more equipped for this job. And my children? They are children. It may take heart-wrenching, back-breaking work to get to the essence of who they are at times… but the preservation of their childhood and the redemption of past hurts is worth it.
The quote I came across at work was written by another adoptive mom, and in her story of saying yes she says There is a child waiting on the other side of our obedience. (You can read more here) The wonderful thing about this statement is that it doesn’t just apply to my children who joined our family through adoption. This applies to all children. Each day we say yes to walking through the hard things. We are obedient to the call of motherhood. We are obedient to God’s calling on our lives. When we say yes to kindness, patience, love and self-control we show them how to live.
My very soul is weary from things I have walked with my child this week. Anyone else? I am so thankful that there is purpose in these trials. I am so thankful that their is a child and a life on the other side of my obedience. It makes it all so very worth it despite the very deep valleys.
1 John 2:5-6
But if anyone obeys His word, God’s love is truly made complete in Him. This is how we know we are in Him:
Whoever claims to live in Him must walk as Jesus did.