A letter to my son

We are standing at the edge of something new, son. I just peeked over the edge and realized that the next phase of knowing you is a steep downhill, just like the ones you power through in cross country. Life is going to move fast from now on and I’ll have trouble keeping up with you at times.

Until now I’ve led the way. Uphill is hard, son. The days were long as I carried you, brought you into the world, fed you and taught you to do things on your own. It takes strong legs to climb UP. But it also takes strong legs to avoid collapsing on the way down.

So here we go, heading into this newness together. Here are a few things you should know:

  • You can always bring your friends home, I’ll feed them.
  • You can always count on your dad and I. We chose to create you and the Lord blessed that. We are committed to you.
  • You can always come home. Or call us to find you and get you there.
  • You can always ask us why. Sometimes we won’t have the best answer, but you’re allowed to ask.
  • You can always trust us. Your best is always on our mind.
  • You can ask us hard questions. If we don’t know the answers, we will sit with you in the wonder.
  • You can count on us to embarrass you sometimes. Because we are parents.
  • You can tell us ANYTHING. We won’t overreact. We’ve been practicing not overreacting for years in preparation for this time in your life. (really, we have)
  • You can expect that there will be consequences if you make super poor decisions. That’s just life bud, and we are going to be good parents.
  • You will be given boundaries and you will be given freedoms. Make good choices and the second will expand.
  • You can believe us when we say we understand you. Middle school is fresh on our minds, even though we are super old.
  • You can be unkind to us, and you will hurt us. But we will do our absolute best to model a response that bears only love.
  • Son, we are your biggest fans. There are no two people in this world that want to see you succeed more. We are standing here cheering you on as you navigate sports, faith, fun with friends, taking quizzes and making it to class without being tardy.

We love you, son. We accept you for who you are and we anticipate who you will become. And we do this without expectations. Do you. Be you. We can’t wait to see it all unfold. We will be running steadily behind you on that downhill and if you reach a hill that’s hard to climb? We’ll be there too.

About the author


Erica is an advocate for simplicity, family time, making a cozy home and loving others well. She is the community coordinator for One Orphan, the orphan care ministry of America World Adoption Association. Erica and Calvin have four young children; Elliott, Charlotte, Lola and Liam. They currently reside in Nashville, TN.

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