I am post-parathyroid surgery by three weeks now. And my bod is still not with the program. My blood work looks good, things are beginning to regulate… but I’m still very exhausted, weak and fatigued. Those are all pretty much the same thing, but it feels different throughout the day. I’ve poured over message boards and have found that many people have experienced the same thing after surgery. But shhhh… don’t tell the surgeons, because they will tell you they haven’t heard or witnessed that.
The rest of this post would end up being complain, complain, I’m sad, I can’t go on long runs, complain, I go to bed at 8pm and lie awake all night, complain.
So I’m just going to stop it right there and tell you what IS happening that doesn’t involve the above.
I’m praying a lot. When I go on my 5 minute walks, those are for praying. For the person who last texted and asked for prayer or for the children in my kids’ school. For me, to stop worrying so much about me. When my worry over whether I’ll be me again takes over I’m finding that looking out is the only solution.
I began interviewing a woman this morning who lost her son. In response, they formed a foundation in his name that benefits orphaned children. She shared with me that the longer they move forward in life the more they realize how fleeting life is on this side of Heaven. They now celebrate the life he had here on Earth and use their grief to benefit others. Looking out was the solution for them and looking up was the solution for them. Our lives here are a vapor and what can we do but use those lives to love others and give glory to a God who loves us?
I have so much faith that my struggles are very temporary, that my body will regulate and heal in time. But while I’m in the struggle I pray that I’m refined and changed. That my small struggles will teach me how to cope with big struggles. Because they will come. I pray that God sees fit to fill me with resolve and strength… because I’m finding I don’t possess enough of it to do very well on my own.
For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.