Didn’t you just complete an adoption? Why are you starting again so soon?
We seem to be getting this question a lot lately. Or hearing that people are asking our friends/family this question. I guess I find it a little odd that anyone would question someone’s motives when they are adding to their family. Especially when the addition to that family currently has no family.
BUT, I know my brain is hard-wired a little differently than other folks so I will explain a few things to help you (them) out a little bit. So here is our list of whys and motivations:
1. We have room.
2. We will love her unconditionally and fully for all she is and will be.
3. God loves us and has given us the capacity to build our family in a non-traditional way.
4. We desire for our children to be close in age. We feel that this will provide them with a strong support system as they go through school, life etc.
5. Our daughter is waiting and we will not leave her as an orphan.
Number five is pretty important, but f I can sum up everything in one small statement, the answer to the “why” question is Why not? Why not fund raise again, why not expand our family, why not live out the gospel in our home? When you can’t come up with any good answers for why not then you are simply compelled to stop asking why and start doing what God has asked of you.
I can’t sit here and tell you this is easy. Raising kids is hard if you are really trying to do a good job. Our youngest son doesn’t sleep at night, our older two are stubborn as mules and we are often exhausted. We are adopting a preschool aged child who will have multiple special needs and I can’t even imagine what that will add to daily routine. But I do know that there will be joy. Just as there is joy to be found in the everyday madness of the three we have now. Joy is all over raising children. When I sit and reflect on the day it’s easy to focus on the one tantrum or the one battle, but there are so many good things in a day as well. Goodbye kisses in the morning, brushing my daughter’s hair, reading in the evenings and hearing my kids say “mommy I want YOU, I want you, sit with me, guess what I did today.” When Liam cries in the night it’s because he wants US, his parents. What greater joy can be found that being wanted? My son has claimed us as his parents in every way and he cries out because he knows we will answer.
In the same way our daughter cries out for us, across the sea. She does not know it yet, but we are answering and someday after much work she too will claim us as her parents.
And we have already said yes to her.